Friday, November 30, 2007

we've all been there. just not necessarily on purpose.

i cut my own bangs in the 5th grade and, well, it was not pretty. so i understand that every girl has to experiment a bit with some face-framing-ness at some point, and it doesn't always turn out that great. but what i want to know is:

when did katie holmes...

...become bai ling?

or is she just preparing for that age-old, vomitously cute mommy/toddler christmas (sorry - *holiday*) lookalike photo?

our lesson on severe bangs: do not try at home.

our lesson on mommy-and-me lookalike photo shoots: barf.

our lesson on bai ling: ummmmm..... who is she again? other than muse to the fug girls? no clue on this one, sorry.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

feel smart, do good

test your vocab and feed hungry kids at the same time.
hooray, multi-tasking!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

project fugway

if the fug girls aren't going to point it out, someone needs to. did anyone else notice that victorya's winning dress on last week's project runway ...

...looked strikingly similar to the fug-o-rific masterpiece wilhelmena forced upon posh spice for the ebony & ivory wedding of the year?

and do you think i need to stop watching so much tv??

Thursday, November 22, 2007

RIP, jane (and wtf, fairchild?)

i love jane magazine. love love love...

well, loved.

we had a brief falling-out a few years ago when they put britney on the cover, but we had made up until jane booted jane.

and brought in brandon?


brandon holly?

brandon teena?

i'm so confused. where did jane go?

oh - the talk show circuit. to discuss a lesbian romp with drew barrymore in the early 90's?



the writers are still there, they're still witty and irreverent, and i still run upstairs and immediately plop down on the couch to read the magazine cover-to-cover (back to front -- don't ask why) every time it arrives.

until *poof*, it's gone.

and in its place, glamour?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

that's what the site says. that's what the blogs say. they're going to send me glamour. i like jane because it's the ANTI-cosmo, and now you're going to send me a second-rate, cosmo-wannabe?? why can't you send me something i actually like? W, perhaps? or vogue? i am sad, and fairchild publications needs to atone for my loss. they even usurped jane's site: *sigh*

so the next month, i open my stuffed mailbox and pout, missing jane and expecting to pull out my new glamour. blah. but i'll read it because i'm a magazine whore with a limited attention span. and, sadly, i may even like it.

or not.

instead, i pulled out redbook?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!

wtf, fairchild? "for the woman juggling family, career, and her own needs"?!?!?!?!?!?

to top it off, the november issue has a huge toys-r-us insert in the middle. I DO NOT HAVE KIDS, PEOPLE!!!!!!! nor do i WANT them! nor do i want to READ about them!!!!!

(that's why i have nieces and nephews. know what kind of candy they like and give them back to their parents when they become a pain in the arse. done.)

stupid redbook.

although this last one did have ashley judd on the cover, and she is pretty awesome.... she would've been in jane.

keeping things in perspective

so i reached a milestone birthday a few months ago and have had varying degrees of panicky, "what have i done with my life?" moments all year. those moments often come when i meet or read about someone who has accomplished a startling degree of success and just happens to be my age or younger. when i was 25, i was pretty successful for my age, and anyone more successful was just lucky/born with it/better connected/whathaveyou. but i seem to be stuck at the same level of accomplishment, and check out all that this guy has done:


a) he did have a whopping 2-day head start on me


b) it could be worse:

so nice of her to help me with that.

da emayows!

oh, you are so witty. people magazine may have jason bourne, but your choices are so much more engaging. my favoritist:

Thursday, November 15, 2007

my name is kelley and i like... kit kats?

one last post and then i'll leave this thing alone for another 2.5 years.

i have always been fascinated by how environmental vs. biological factors affect people's actions, decisions, or anything else that can be logically analyzed. i am very black-and-white, but i like to explore the grey areas. like, why are all oldest children bossy, youngest children super-outgoing, and middle children just basically screwed up? (you know where you are there.) or why do i like kit kats, karats, and, uh... well, i can't think of anything else that starts with a "k." but i do know i got a lot of strikeouts when i played softball growing up. just read the damn article:

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

and this is why i need a blog

to share fabulousness such as this:

i fully expect to see tech's band ripping this off at homecoming next year. i will be highly disappointed if not. they'll just have to lock up the flag girls cuz i just don't see them fitting in... except maybe one at the end, dressed as a princess.

i forgot i had this thing!

so i keep thinking of funny things that i'd put on a blog, if only i could motivate myself to get off my butt and create one. (myspace doesn't count.)

turns out i already did..... :)

so i'm going to start posting things that amuse me, in hopes that someone else will be amused as well. or i may post things that annoy me, but i'd rather not turn this into "things that piss kelley off" because that would be a looooong, not-exactly-uplifting list. however, you have been warned! i'll just call them my own "new rules."

just what the world needs: another blog.