we've all been there. just not necessarily on purpose.

i cut my own bangs in the 5th grade and, well, it was not pretty. so i understand that every girl has to experiment a bit with some face-framing-ness at some point, and it doesn't always turn out that great. but what i want to know is:

when did katie holmes...

...become bai ling?

or is she just preparing for that age-old, vomitously cute mommy/toddler christmas (sorry - *holiday*) lookalike photo?

our lesson on severe bangs: do not try at home.

our lesson on mommy-and-me lookalike photo shoots: barf.

our lesson on bai ling: ummmmm..... who is she again? other than muse to the fug girls? no clue on this one, sorry.

feel smart, do good

http://www.freerice.com/

test your vocab and feed hungry kids at the same time.
hooray, multi-tasking!

project fugway

if the fug girls aren't going to point it out, someone needs to. did anyone else notice that victorya's winning dress on last week's project runway ...

...looked strikingly similar to the fug-o-rific masterpiece wilhelmena forced upon posh spice for the ebony & ivory wedding of the year?

and do you think i need to stop watching so much tv??

i promise i've been very good this year.

santa, if you're reading this, all i want for christmas is here:

http://www.jcrew.com/content/251/body/shoepop.jhtml

RIP, jane (and wtf, fairchild?)

i love jane magazine. love love love...

well, loved.

we had a brief falling-out a few years ago when they put britney on the cover, but we had made up until jane booted jane.

and brought in brandon?

what?

brandon holly?

brandon teena?

i'm so confused. where did jane go?

oh - the talk show circuit. to discuss a lesbian romp with drew barrymore in the early 90's?

what?

whatever.

the writers are still there, they're still witty and irreverent, and i still run upstairs and immediately plop down on the couch to read the magazine cover-to-cover (back to front -- don't ask why) every time it arrives.

until *poof*, it's gone.

and in its place, glamour?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

that's what the site says. that's what the blogs say. they're going to send me glamour. i like jane because it's the ANTI-cosmo, and now you're going to send me a second-rate, cosmo-wannabe?? why can't you send me something i actually like? W, perhaps? or vogue? i am sad, and fairchild publications needs to atone for my loss. they even usurped jane's site: janemag.com. *sigh*

so the next month, i open my stuffed mailbox and pout, missing jane and expecting to pull out my new glamour. blah. but i'll read it because i'm a magazine whore with a limited attention span. and, sadly, i may even like it.

or not.

instead, i pulled out redbook?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!

wtf, fairchild? "for the woman juggling family, career, and her own needs"?!?!?!?!?!?

to top it off, the november issue has a huge toys-r-us insert in the middle. I DO NOT HAVE KIDS, PEOPLE!!!!!!! nor do i WANT them! nor do i want to READ about them!!!!!

(that's why i have nieces and nephews. know what kind of candy they like and give them back to their parents when they become a pain in the arse. done.)

stupid redbook.

although this last one did have ashley judd on the cover, and she is pretty awesome.... she would've been in jane.

keeping things in perspective

so i reached a milestone birthday a few months ago and have had varying degrees of panicky, "what have i done with my life?" moments all year. those moments often come when i meet or read about someone who has accomplished a startling degree of success and just happens to be my age or younger. when i was 25, i was pretty successful for my age, and anyone more successful was just lucky/born with it/better connected/whathaveyou. but i seem to be stuck at the same level of accomplishment, and check out all that this guy has done:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanye_West

however....

a) he did have a whopping 2-day head start on me

and

b) it could be worse:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/11/fugsana-baiul.html

so nice of her to help me with that.

da emayows!

oh, salon.com. you are so witty. people magazine may have jason bourne, but your choices are so much more engaging. my favoritist: http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/2007/11/15/sexiest_man/index6.html

my name is kelley and i like... kit kats?

one last post and then i'll leave this thing alone for another 2.5 years.

i have always been fascinated by how environmental vs. biological factors affect people's actions, decisions, or anything else that can be logically analyzed. i am very black-and-white, but i like to explore the grey areas. like, why are all oldest children bossy, youngest children super-outgoing, and middle children just basically screwed up? (you know where you are there.) or why do i like kit kats, karats, and, uh... well, i can't think of anything else that starts with a "k." but i do know i got a lot of strikeouts when i played softball growing up. just read the damn article:

http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/labnotes/archive/2007/11/07/a-my-name-is-alice-moniker-madness.aspx

and this is why i need a blog

to share fabulousness such as this:



i fully expect to see tech's band ripping this off at homecoming next year. i will be highly disappointed if not. they'll just have to lock up the flag girls cuz i just don't see them fitting in... except maybe one at the end, dressed as a princess.

i forgot i had this thing!

so i keep thinking of funny things that i'd put on a blog, if only i could motivate myself to get off my butt and create one. (myspace doesn't count.)

turns out i already did..... :)

so i'm going to start posting things that amuse me, in hopes that someone else will be amused as well. or i may post things that annoy me, but i'd rather not turn this into "things that piss kelley off" because that would be a looooong, not-exactly-uplifting list. however, you have been warned! i'll just call them my own "new rules."

just what the world needs: another blog.

List o' books

upadate: yep, i'm a slacker. but i did get a good book list going on www.goodreads.com. you should check it out if you haven't already.


i keep saying i'm going to do a big ole book swap, but i'm such a slacker. so here's the list of books on my shelves, all organized and everything, and somebody else can take the initiative from there. slacker -- that may be the theme of this whole little blog experiment. :)

Good and random

Me Talk Pretty One Day
David Sedaris
Short stories. Funny as hell.

I Know This Much Is True
Wally Lamb
Haven't read this one, but plenty of people like it. It's thick.

Living History
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Haven't read this one.

The Pleasure of My Company
Steve Martin
Funny as hell. Very, very dry and a bit bizarre.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Lynne Truss
Haven't read this one. It's about grammar.

The Clothes They Stood Up In
Alan Bennett
Very short, dry, British. Not obvious but funny.

Einstein's Dreams
Alan Lightman
For the Techie

The Diagnosis
Alan Lightman
More for the Techie

The Time Machine
H. G. Wells
If you missed it in high school

Farenheit 451
Ray Bradbury
You haven't read this already? Now's a good time.

Hocus Pocus
Kurt Vonnegut
Very Vonnegut.

The Hot Zone
Richard Preston
Along the lines of the Michael Crichton stuff.

The Great Gatsby
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Another classic.

Bluebeard
Kurt Vonnegut
More very Vonnegut.

Life of Pi
Yann Martel
I couldn't finish this one. My attention span is too short, and it's too deep. Doesn't say much for me, does it?

From Takeoff to Landing
Ed Sternstein & Todd Gold
If you are a frequent flyer, this is an interesting read in the air.

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead
Tom Stoppard
What happened after Hamlet? Bizarre but amusing.

The Pianist
Wladyslaw Szpilman
Phenomenal read. Read it before seeing the movie.

The Kite Runner
Catch this one before it becomes a movie. Disturbing, thought provoking, phenomenal throughout.

literature anthology
Norton
All in one

literature anthology
Perrine
More all-in-one


How to escape your world w/o paying for gas

Harry Potter 1, 2, 3, 5
J. K. Rowling
Awesome easy read. You'll be jealous of their world.

Red Wall
Brian Jacques
Haven't read yet.

The Mexican Tree Duck
James Crumley
Haven't read yet.

The Hobbit
J. R. R. Tolkien
Read this before LOTR!

The Lord of the Rings 1, 2, 3
J. R. R. Tolkien
Stressed? You can't relate to any of this. It's a great escape.


Girlie reads

Shopgirl
Steve Martin
Guys might like this, too. Dry and funny. Not slapstick.

The Devil Wears Prada
Lauren Weisberger
Ever wonder what it'd be like to work at Vogue and/or have the world's worst boss?

Confessions of a Shopaholic
Sophie Kinsella
Read this if you have never saved a penny in your life.

Shopaholic Takes Manhattan
Sophie Kinsella
Read this to see what happens when you never save a penny.

Girls' Poker Night
Jill A. Davis
Haven't read this yet.

Mrs. Dalloway
Virginia Woolf
Classic.


For people who say "y'all"

We're Just Like You, Only Prettier
Celia Rivenbark
Don't read this if you're not from the South. Sorry. :)

Leaving Atlanta
Tayari Jones
This is for anyone. Interesting read about disappearing children in 70's/80's Atlanta.

Beach Music
Pat Conroy

A Man In Full
Tom Wolfe
Tom Wolfe is so full of himself, I couldn't finish this. But it revolves around Atlanta.

The Secret Life of Bees
Sue Monk Kidd
Sweet 60's-era SC read about a girl trying to find her place

Confederates in the Attic
Tony Horowitz
Stories of a Jewish Yankee traveling around the South. It's pretty funny and insightful, but it can make you embarassed (or proud) to be from here.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
Jill Conner Browne
Funniest "oh yeah I've been there" book ever.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Big Ass Cookbook (And Financial Planner)
Jill Conner Browne
Second funniest. With recipes.


Wondering what to do with your life?

What Color Is Your Parachute? (2003)
Richard Nelson Bolles

Inside a U. S. Embassy


Stuff for the minister's kid

Six Hours One Friday
On Your Own But Not Alone
View From Above
Home With a Heart
Conversations with God
God Calling
Your Place in This World